"In which two clueless Asians made complete jackasses of themselves."

There once was a girl named Catalina who went to an art class in New Brunswick. Now, Catalina lived far far away in the North, so she had to take a sketchy train each day to get to said class, but that is besides the point. The class was run by an immigrant from China who spoke very broken English, so thus every last one of her students was also either Chinese or born to Chinese parents, and the whole environment was like a miniature Chinatown where even the children spoke Chinese to each other. Which naturally came as a freakish surprise to the very Americanized Catalina.

Lunchtime at the art school was very unlike lunchtime in public school. Catalina's earliest memories of her elementary years were primarily of them white kids laughing at her crazy Asian lunches. She had long since accustomed herself to peanut butter sandwiches and cold cuts. But in the art school, Catalina's innocent peanut butter sandwich seemed horribly out of place, for all the other students brought with them epic Tupperware containers of dumplings, potstickers, fried rice, noodles, and all sorts of other FOB-y yum-yums. So Catalina quietly munched on her meagre sandwich while the other students freakin' partied it up with their pwnage food.

The Asian kids liked to watch movies, which they played on their laptops--(which of course they would bring to an art class). They were fans of films such as, but not limited to, Mulan, Mulan II, The Incredibles, and, surprisingly, Push. Disney and Asian-ness seemed to be the recurring theme. It was on one day that they were all watching Push that Catalina, while nibbling on her peanut butter sandwich, happened to overhear the conversation between two Asian girls (of course they would be Asian, there wasn't any other variety).

"Wait, so--that girl can make people believe what she wants them to believe?"
"Wait, what?"
"What the hell is happening to her eyes?"
"This is so freaking confusing!"
"Omg what's going on"
"OMG THERE'S BLOOD"
"OMG EWW"
"EWW"
"I'M GONNA THROW UP MY MANTOU"
"Why are those Asian people screaming? Omg this movie is so weird"

Catalina munched quietly and listened further.

"I think I prefer Jackie Chan's movies."
"Yeah! Like Rush Hour--god that's such a good movie."
"Yeah, and the other guy, his sidekick--Eddie Murphy is so great."

The two girls nodded complacently for a few moments, lost in fond memories of the Asian/black team kicking Hong Kong ass, when suddenly one of the Asian girls frowned. "Wait--you're silly, that's not Eddie Murphy. That's Chris Rock!"

End of story.