Apologies in advance for any moral offenses.

So I find it incredibly entertaining to come on to dA and see a new popular deviation based upon the Joker or some other Dark Knight related material. It's funny.

So I've waited two years to see this movie, anticipating that moment. I've been great fans of both Christian Bale and Heath Ledger, watched their other films, loved their performances. I was more hyped up than anyone I knew to see it. So then I did.

I'll acknowledge that it's a good movie. But even I never became crazy about it. It was exhilarating during the experience, sort of, but I'm just not....obsessed with it. At all. I think about it and I go, that's cool. I certainly won't be going out doing fanart from it.

The thing is, I agree with what Robert Downey, Jr. said about it, and I don't know if he was fucking around or not, but here it is:
[link]
“The Dark Knight. “My whole thing is that that I saw The Dark Knight. I feel like I’m dumb because I feel like I don’t get how many things that are so smart. It’s like a Ferrari engine of storytelling and script writing and I’m like, ‘That’s not my idea of what I want to see in a movie.’ I loved The Prestige but didn’t understand The Dark Knight. Didn’t get it, still can’t tell you what happened in the movie, what happened to the character and in the end they need him to be a bad guy. I’m like, ‘I get it. This is so high brow and so fucking smart, I clearly need a college education to understand this movie.’ You know what? Fuck DC comics. That’s all I have to say and that’s where I’m really coming from.”

Alright, I don't agree with everything he said, as I understood what was happening in the movie, but I do agree with its smart-ass attitude. I'm a big fan of Chris Nolan, I think he's a genius, what with Memento and The Prestige and all, and for a superhero movie, he really worked wonders with TDK. But it seemed like he was trying way too hard, reaching way too high, shoving down your throat, "I'M A GENIUS." It just wasn't...enjoyable after a time, and I found myself going, oh really to all the genius social experiments and tortured protagonist and etc etc etc.

I will give kudos to Ledger for his performance.

But Christian Bale?

Christian Bale. I find I don't really enjoy watching him anymore. He's good, I'll give him that, but it seems just like TDK, like he's trying too hard to throw himself into his characters with that hard-boiled intensity. It's just, like, relax. Take a breather. He just seems full of himself. There's nothing natural about his acting, it's all intense, intense, tortured man. I liked his energy when he was younger and still a fun person--he had a more comfortable presence. He didn't have that (sorry, Christian) stick up his ass. Then somewhere along the way, perhaps after American Psycho, maybe before, maybe after, he just started trying so hard and lost some of his charisma.

In fact, the one movie that made me fall in love with him as an actor was The New World. And that’s maybe one of the most laid-back, low-key performances he’s given. It was just such a subtle, quiet role, no huge displays of anger or agony. Even near the end, when he let Kilcher’s character go see Smith, he didn’t overdo it. If anything, his anguish was under-done, and that touched me more than any violent scene of turmoil would have.

So now he’s picking up all those big industry roles, Batman, Terminator....And he's taken it upon his shoulders to revamp those series, make them something worthwhile, worth watching, instead of popcorn bullshit, and maybe he succeeds, but it sucks the fun out of everything. It sucks the entertaining fuel out and fills it with solemn energy and I just watch it and go .____.

I'll take a Robert Downey, Jr. any day of the week. Sure, maybe he had a hell of a lot of problems, but he just seems so comfortable on the camera. Of course, I don't know him, he could be a complete neurotic, but he sure doesn't seem it once it's translated into a screen. He makes a character the audience can love or like and not just admire or pity for his inner torment. He doesn't look like he's making an enormous effort, like "I've got to become this character, I've just got to make this good," he just does it and that's that.
I mean, between Iron Man and TDK, I'll definitely give the gold to TDK, but between Bale's Wayne and Downey's Stark? There's no competition. One gives a valiant effort to be Wayne, and the other just is Stark.

I'll liken it to the bands Muse vs. Arctic Monkeys. A while back, the Arctic Monkeys were criticized for their plain gig that followed Muse's grand, transcendent performance complete with dry ice and flashing lights, or whatever crap that rockstars use. The Arctic Monkeys basically came on, played, and left. And the thing is, okay, so maybe they didn't have flashing supernatural effects, but they still perform pretty damned well, and they do have a sort of tight-strung, stoned, nervous energy. But Muse?

When I first discovered Muse, I was hooked. They have such a unique sound, they cover such unique topics, what with Bellamy's fixation on outer space crap and such. And they've got that weird New age thing going. But then I started getting sick of all of it. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm just attracted to humbler displays of talent. But Muse suddenly just seemed completely overblown to me, and I found myself wondering about who fucking cares about big black holes and exploding stars, or whatever, and why is it so necessary to make everything so grand? It's all so amazing all the time that you just zone out from it and it's not even interesting anymore. While with the Arctic Monkeys, they have that quirky feel, low-key, so you're always paying attention, you enjoy yourself. Or at least I do. Maybe all this is bullshit to you. I'd understand.

So, like Bale and Downey. Bale's intense focus just overwhelms me eventually, and it’s like seeing too many psychedelic colors. They’re not pretty anymore.

Now onto another touchy topic, Twilight. Yes, that vampire book. That vampire series, actually. Whoo hoo. So why am I writing it here where so many people can be offended? Eh, maybe I shouldn’t. But all my friends like the books so I can’t talk to them about it, and these are just some of those ideas that you just want to voice. I just get urges to speak them. So—

It was last summer I read the first two books in the series. Well, one and a half, actually. Some of my friends had been obsessing over them, so I was rather intrigued, you know. I borrowed Twilight from one, and I read it.

At the end I was like…….eh, well, maybe the series gets better.

So I borrowed the second one. And halfway through, I closed it and said, I’m done. I’m not putting myself through this.

I just didn’t see what exactly was so good about them. In fact—it wasn’t even like Harry Potter. Harry Potter, I don’t see what’s so special about it, but they’re not bad books. You know? They’re fairly well-written, likeable characters, blah blah, rah rah…..But Twilight? That’s a book that I actively just….dislike. I didn’t like it. I thought it was bad. Sorry. I’m just not into books with:
1. Vampires who *gasp* don’t fit the legend. They’re different? Gee, we haven’t seen that before.
2. A sexy male lead with superhuman strength and no dislikeable flaws whatsoever (Edward)
3. An antagonist who is completely evil (Victoria and Co)
4. “Good” characters who deal with envy in incredibly immature ways (Jacob)
5. A pretty but weak, whiny, useless woe-is-me protagonist who is, gasp, not like the other shallow blonde bimbos. She’s unique. Zomg. We haven’t seen that before either.

I’m being mean. But I just didn’t like the book. And I’m not big into dreamy teen romances where the little ones get really serious with one another, I just find it reckless. And okay, sure Edward is a hundred years old or whatever, but Bella isn’t, and judging from her angsty outlook on everything, she’s not mature beyond her years. And, I mean, honestly. We see:

1. Girl moves to new town with few hopes
2. Girl is surprised to make friends but leaves them in the dust when she meets sexy vampires
3. Girl falls in love with sexiest vampire but, gasp, there is danger to be had
4. Girl is hunted by the evil vampires. Because the ones she’s friends with, yeah, they’re good vampires.
5. Girl is saved by sexiest vampire
6. Little werewolf gets jealous. Commence love triangle!
7. Girl decides to stay with sexy vampire. He is, after all, sexy.
8. Girl and sexy vampire get married at 18 (everything from here on is according to my friend. Maybe she lied)
9. Girl and sexy vampire have little vampire baby! Zomg! Girl is turned into vampire and she and sexy vampire have happy sexy happily ever after.

Certainly sends a good message to the kids.


So as for Gaspard Ulliel as Edward….Uhm, really now? Ulliel has made his name in French cinema in interesting roles in interesting films. Maybe not all of them strictly good, but they weren’t campy, clichéd things. And….well, you know how I feel about Twilight. As for Robert Pattinson, I must confess that I don’t know much about his work, so I don’t know if he’s any good. But he never made his big break into American cinema, you know, other than that itty bitty role in Harry Potter. So he needed that break, and he found it in Twilight. Ulliel didn’t need to seize that chance to make himself known in America, he’d already done it with Hannibal Lecter. And while that wasn’t so well-received, at least it was something different. Not like a million things that have been written and filmed before *ahem*vampire love*ahem*. But anyway, so to Ulliel, Twilight would have little other benefit other than if it were likely to be a good movie, and, well. So Gaspard as Edward would have been very unlikely, I think, and I think he made a good choice in choosing a role in The Vintner’s Luck instead.

The Vintner’s Luck. Also based on a novel. That one I haven’t read, but basically it’s about the decades-long relationship between a vintner named Sobran and a fallen angel of sorts, Xas.

So: Getting to bang Jeremie Renier vs. Getting to rescue Kristen Stewart. Yeah, Gaspard, I would have chosen Renier, too.


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Clubs:


Right, honestly, don't ask me to use my stuff in blends and photomanipulations and web laytouts and crap. Just don't. Please and thank you.